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Death to the robot dogs!
How long until a robot dog kills a delivery driver?
Simplicius just did an excellent article on augmented reality, and included some content about robots in it. One of the robots was moving like nothing I’ve ever seen and it freaked me out!
Here is the video:
Look at that sucker move! Can you imagine dealing with one of them that had it in for you and wanted to bite you? You’d need a grenade to stop something like that if it were a robot pet that some asshole bought and programmed to “guard the house.” I can’t imagine running into a robot dog in terminator mode that had decided to attack a delivery driver.
Why do I care about this? Well, I do deliveries for work so I have had to deal with real dogs attacking me. I have become quite sensitive to this issue, having been confronted with three situations where I was nearly bitten, and more where I had to deal with nutty dogs.
To put this in context, I keep an electronic stun baton in my car and carry it with me in situations where I might come into contact with a loose dog. I got it because the third time a dog charged me, I realized I didn’t have a way to keep the dog away from me except by pushing a package into its face.
After that, I said “fuck this!” and bought one of these sombitches:
It’s an electonric stun baton called a Jolt Mega, here’s the info:
22" ultimate reach stun baton protects you and keeps attackers at a safe distance
100 million volts of electricity (1.85 microcoulombs) with powerful spiked lined body
360-lumen LED light can temporarily blind attackers as well as light up dark areas
5 selectable light modes; High (100%), Medium (50%), Low (25%), S.O.S. and Strobe
Shockproof military-grade aluminum alloy body for drop protection and surviving strikes
I had thought after buying this thing that I’d be mostly okay in terms of dogs. But after reading Simplicius’ article, I wonder how long it will be before some asshole’s robot dog attacks me? It might sound far-fetched but it’s not as the AI and robot tech is improving at an amazing rate.
It’s bad enough that we drivers have to deal with mastiffs, rottweillers, pit bulls, great danes, and other large dogs. But soon we’ll have some robot dog that comes equipped with a damn flame thrower or machine gun! You just know that the losers that own large, savage dogs will buy a robot dog that they can amp up the aggression on to scare everybody around them.
Those of you who have never done deliveries for a living likely have no idea how often drivers are attacked and bitten by dogs. It happens all the time because of reckless or stupid dog owners who don’t control their animals. Of course, after the attack, they are very sorry about it, as if that matters to the driver that has been bitten or even killed by a dog.
Well, if dog owners decide to get robot dogs as pets, then I am going to buy a robot dragon! Yes, a dragon! If they can make robot dogs then they can make dragons too! And I am going to do my deliveries with my 30-foot robot dragon following me around, flying right above me. The first time a robot dog messes with me, my robot dragon is going to beat the shit out of it and then bite it in half!
Hey, turnabout is fair play when it comes to robot dogs and delivery drivers.
DEATH TO THE ROBOT DOGS!
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