I'll pass on Apple's Vision Pro goggles

I love technology, but there are some things that aren't worth bothering with, and Apple's Vision Pro goggles are one of them

I have always enjoyed technology, and it has brought many benefits to the lives of people, even the undead. However, I am taking a hard pass on Apple’s new Vision Pro goggles. Apple, of course, couldn't care less about guys like me, as their new product is aimed at people with deep pockets who want a new tech toy to play with and don’t care about the steep price of $3,499.

For the record, I have not used the Vision Pro goggles. I have, however, used another headset that was released earlier on. I was at a friend’s house, and he encouraged me to try it out and see if I liked it. I do not remember the name or brand of the headset, but I think it was linked to an Android phone.

A dinosaur versus Morgthorak the Undead

Before putting on the headset, my friend told me to sit in a chair. I thought this was ridiculous; why would I need to sit down? I resisted, but my friend insisted, and I finally gave way and sat down. I put the headset on and immediately disliked it. It cut me off from the real world, and I felt a sense of nausea and weirdness. It was tight on my head, and my eyes were completely covered.

My friend turned it on, and then I saw a dinosaur in the distance. The scenery was cool, and so was the dinosaur. But no big deal, right? Then I noticed that the thing had apparently seen me, and it got up and started to look like it was walking toward me. That surprised me, and I did not like it. I felt trapped by this damned thing.

As you know, the undead possess great power against werewolves, ghouls, zombies, vampires and other supernatural creatures who inhabit the real world. I felt confident that I could have possibly beaten the crap out of this dinosaur in a real-world fight, but I was not in the real world. I was in the virtual world of this damned headset! As near as I could figure, I had no weapons to slay this thing.

Nor could I move away from it, and retreat to a more defensive position! I was trapped! Me, Morgthorak the Undead, trapped like a rat in a cage!

It kept walking toward me, and I instinctively backed up in the chair, and I heard my friend laughing at my discomfort! He obviously knew what was going to happen and had planned the whole affair out carefully before I even arrived at his house! Damn him for setting up this cunning trap!

The dinosaur kept coming toward me until it was right in front of me, and by now I was completely disoriented by the stupid goggles. I just watched helplessly it as it towered over me, waiting for its teeth to sink into my undead flesh! My doom was at hand; soon I would be deep in the bowels of this giant, hideous reptile!

Then, from a distance, I heard a voice telling me, “Take it off! Take it off! Fool, take it off!” and I realized I was having a flashback to the Lord of the Rings when Frodo was sitting in the high seat on Amon Hen and Sauron was just about to find his location when Gandalf interrupted and told him to take off the ring!

Heeding Gandalf’s wisdom, I grabbed the damned headset, and ripped it off my head! I was back in the real world, and the stupid dinosaur was gone! A close call, to be sure, but I was still in one piece, though furious that I could not get my undead hands on that impudent dinosaur. The cheek of that thing targeting an undead! If I could have gotten to him in the real world, I would have rended him into pieces and given the flesh to my human friends to eat.

So as you can tell, I did not really enjoy my first experience with AR or VR or whatever the hell it is called. And I am not the only one who has felt nausea, disorientation and a sense of being out of physical reality while wearing such goggles.

Researchers document the side-effects of AR/VR goggles

See this article in the Daily Mail about the experiences of researchers using various goggles:

At first, the researchers had a difficult time navigating while wearing the headsets in both public and private spaces, noting that objects seemed closer or farther away than they were.

They walked with someone nearby to help them in case they tripped or walked into anything and initially reported feelings of nausea, eye strain, headaches, and dizziness – all signs of ‘simulator sickness.’

One of the most widely accepted theories about why simulator sickness occurs is the sensory conflict theory, in which a person experiences mismatches between the visual system, our sense of balance, and the body’s ability to sense movement or the location of a place or object.

The researchers found that one of the most critical issues with the passthrough headset was distortion which showed the world as if through a prism or funhouse mirror.

‘Anyone who has spent time in a museum’s hall of mirrors that make people appear taller, thinner, or curvier understands this concept,’ the researchers wrote in the study.

The headsets distorted straight lines, making the edges appear curved and either expanded or compressed the distance between objects.

Researchers reported having trouble pressing the button on an elevator because the buttons appeared farther away from their fingers or experienced difficulty bringing food to their mouths.

The experiences of those researchers does not surprise me in the least. It is very similar to what I experienced, though I have no doubt that Apple’s goggles are far superior in terms of technology to what I used at my friend’s house. If you have not used such a headset before, you will see what I mean the first time you try one on and use it.

This video has a funny take on the Apple Vision Pro goggles:

Will AR/VR goggles improve someday?

Perhaps the Vision Pro and other goggles will somehow fix these problems someday; I do not know. But I will pass on using them; I did not like my first experience with such a headset, and I see nothing in Apple’s product to change my mind about any of it. The technology is better, but it’s still the same claustrophobic experience.

And, as I noted above, Apple’s goggles are for rich people only. Poor and working-class people are priced out of the Vision Pro for now. Who has $3500 lying around to buy a first-generation pair of ultra-expensive goggles with few apps, and few real-world uses? Even if I were rich, why would I waste so much money on a first-generation, experimental product? There are plenty of other uses for $3500 that would make far more sense.

Look to Nintendo for AR/VR gaming devices, not Apple

I have heard people say that games will be amazing with such a headset, but I disagree completely. I prefer to play on my venerable Nintendo Switch. I can enjoy a game without a wave of disorientation and nausea hitting me. I also prefer real controls to hold and use, not virtual ones. So I see little value in the Vision Pro and similar products for gaming.

However, I will also say this: if there is one company that can make these stupid goggles work for gaming, it will not be Apple; it will be Nintendo. Nintendo has a history of coming out of left field with innovations that change how gamers play at a price point ordinary people can afford. So I will be watching to see what, if any, use Nintendo makes of these AR/VR goggles.

Apple, in contrast to Nintendo, has never really understood gaming or gamers. Apple Arcade is the best Apple has ever been able to do, but even that pales in comparison to Nintendo’s games and Switch platform. Apple is not now, nor will it ever be, a true leader in gaming. That is Nintendo’s forte, and if anybody can get the stupid AR/VR goggles to actually be fun, it will be Nintendo.

Your mileage may vary when it comes to these products; if that is the case, then please tell me in the comments why you like such headsets. I’m curious to know if there is something I’m missing about all of it.

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