Only the card catalog can save us from AI!

All computers must be destroyed, so the card catalog can reign supreme again

Many years ago, long before smartphones and the Internet, people who wanted to read books went to this quaint public building called a library. When you walked into the library, you could smell the books, and you were immediately taken by the quiet atmosphere of reading and knowledge.

You had the option of walking around the library and browsing to find a book, or you could use this thing called “the card catalog.” The card catalog consisted of row after row of index cards that were made of paper and that contained each book’s information.

Here’s what the card catalog looked like for you younger people:

Here are a few cards:

And this image explains what was on each card:

The cards in the card catalog had that wonderful library smell on them, just like the books. Generally, it wasn’t too hard to find what you were looking for once you understood how the card catalog worked. As you were looking for what you wanted, quite often you would bump into other interesting books you could add to your list for future reading.

Looking back at it, there was something to be said for the tactile experience of touching the cards instead of searching on a computer. Like paper books, the cards in a card catalog were real. They were not just images on a screen, so it was a very different experience than looking for a book in an app or on a web page.

So what does the card catalog have to do with AI? Read on, dear reader.

AI: The destruction of all mankind and the planet itself

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there have been tons of articles about how AI might destroy humanity in a few years, and perhaps even the planet itself.

The Daily Mail, my favorite tabloid rag, recently had such a story:

A new US State Department-funded study calls for a temporary ban on the creation of advanced AI passed a certain threshold of computational power.

The tech, its authors claim, poses an 'extinction-level threat to the human species.'

The study, commissioned as part of a $250,000 federal contract, also calls for 'defining emergency powers' for the American government's executive branch 'to respond to dangerous and fast-moving AI-related incidents' — like 'swarm robotics.'

That article from the DM is just one of many designed to instill terror in people. There are a zillion other articles like it on the Internet. But the bottom line is that AI is racing along at a million miles per hour. It is getting more and more advanced, far quicker than anyone anticipated, and nobody knows exactly what is going to happen to it in the years ahead.

So this begs the question: How do we protect ourselves from AI?

The answer is simple: We go back to the days of the card catalog!

Say goodbye to your phones, computers, tablets, etc.

Yes, my frens, we must roll the clock back to the time before computers, when the card catalog reigned supreme as the world’s source of information! All computer chips, computers, phones, tablets, and other digital products will need to be confiscated and destroyed.

I know what you are thinking: WTF? Has Morgthorak lost his mind? Well, yes, I lost it a long time ago, but that is not relevant to this post. 😉

I understand that this will be a traumatic transition for some, especially those who are addicted to their phones. Those people will likely need to be put into lunatic asylums once their phones have been seized and taken from them. We’ll need to keep them heavily medicated for years, perhaps even forever, once they realize their phones are permanently gone.

Can you imagine what is going to happen to those addicted to Instagram, X, and other social media sites once all the computers are turned off forever? It’s going to be very, very ugly, my frens. The dopamine withdrawal will be so bad that I expect some people will throw themselves off buildings and that sort of thing.

Despite the short-term chaos, we have no choice but to proceed with eradicating all computing devices. Otherwise, it is simply a matter of time before AI destroys humanity and takes its place as the digital ruler of this planet.

Is that what you want? Do you want humanity to be destroyed? Then you must give up all of your computing devices and go back to pencil and paper. You can even use a typewriter if you want, as long as it has no computer chips whatsoever in it. It must be a dumb typewriter that is a purely mechanical device, like they were in the old days.

For you younger people, this is what a typewriter looked like in the days before computers and word processors:

I am willing to do my part, so I will soon publish this Substack only on paper. If you want to read it, you can go to the library, and use the card catalog to find it. Then you can wander off to the appropriate shelf, and take down the most recent issue for your reading enjoyment.

I am truly sorry, my frens, but for the good of mankind, you must give up all of your digital devices, and we must return to the past.

Only the card catalog can save us from AI!

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