Shelob the Spider: The first feminist?

Have you ever wondered where feminism really came from? Read on to find out!

Feminism, as I’m sure you already know, is an inherently evil ideology for reasons that have been discussed a zillion times. So I will not go into all of that here once again. Instead, I want to ask and answer a question: Where did feminism come from?

Now, you have probably read lots of ridiculous “histories” and other books purporting to explain the origin of feminism. But I can tell you right now, it’s all a bunch of crap. Instead, I believe we should explore the world of Middle Earth because I believe it holds the answer to the question of feminism’s origin.

Shelob, as you might know if you’ve read the Lord of the Rings books, was a giant spider that tried to eat Sam and Frodo as they passed through her lair on their way to destroy the ring. She was a cunning foe, and a horrible one. She took Frodo out (though she only poisoned him so she could consume him later) and she damned near took out Sam too. Only Shelob’s arrogance saved Sam as she tried to sit on him to kill him, and inst…