The American flag is hideous!

Is it time for the empire to create a new flag with a better design?

I’m likely to catch a lot of heat for this article, but there’s something that has been in the back of my mind for a long time:

The American flag is hideous!

Don’t believe me? Here, take a look for yourself:

Now, I know a lot of people will hate reading this article, and will prattle on about “old glory” and how “people died for that flag” and all the usual “patriotic” clap-trap that comes up every time somebody says something negative about the flag. Well, you are all entitled to your opinions, but so am I, and I think the flag is flat out ugly in terms of its design.

Consider this: The flag has 50 stars all crammed into the upper left corner, with a blue background, and then a bunch of red and white stripes. The flag, in all its ugliness, truly represents the giant shopping mall that is America. In other words, it’s tacky, and it has no taste.

But what makes it so awful is that it is based on an older flag called the Grand Union Flag that had the Union Jack in the same place as the stars:

So the design of the American flag isn’t even original! It’s just a rip-off of an old flag that flew between 1775 and 1777:

The first flag resembling the modern stars and stripes was an unofficial flag sometimes called the Grand Union Flag, or "the Continental Colors". It consisted of 13 red-and-white stripes, with the Union Jack in the upper left-hand-corner. It first appeared on December 3, 1775, when Continental Navy Lieutenant John Paul Jones flew it aboard Captain Esek Hopkin's flagship Alfred in the Delaware River.[5] It remained the national flag until June 14, 1777.[6] At the time of the Declaration of Independence in July 1776, there were no flags with any stars on them; the Second Continental Congress did not adopt flags with "stars, white in a blue field" for another year. The "Grand Union Flag" has historically been referred to as the first national flag of the United States.[7]

The Continental Navy raised the Colors as the ensign of the fledgling nation in the American War for Independence – likely by the expedient of transforming their previous British red ensign by adding white stripes.[7][8] The name "Grand Union" was first applied to the Continental Colors by George Henry Preble in his 1872 book known as History of the American Flag.[8]

To make matters worse, the Grand Union Flag was basically a rip-off of the East India Company flag:

So you can see where the American flag came from, and the irony is delicious that a symbol that so many people regard so highly is really just a regurgitation of an old corporation’s flag! HA HA HA HA! Well, that explains a lot about America, doesn’t it? 😂

Benjamin Franklin once suggested that the rattlesnake be the symbol of the United States, and he was definitely right, given how the country went from being a republic to an empire, and the empire is filled with venom anyway.

But if Franklin had had his way, maybe the ugly American flag might have looked something like this:

That’s a much more striking design than the trashy “stars and stripes” look that the flag currently contains. Even if you don’t like snakes, the Gadsden flag is much cooler and distinct in terms of its design.

But what about the flags of other nations? What do they look like? Well, since the empire is always looking for an “evil, bad guy” to justify pissing away trillions of dollars on the military-industrial complex, let’s look at the flags of the countries that the empire hates today.

Here’s the Russian flag:

A classy design, if you ask me. It’s simple but attractive, and it’s not garish in any way. I don’t blame the Russians for going back to it after the fall of the Soviet Union. It’s much better than the Soviet flag.

Speaking of communists, let’s look at China’s flag:

Not bad; another relatively simple design. I don’t mind the red and yellow colors, but the stars don’t do much for me. Still, at least it has some class.

And here’s Iran’s flag:

Not bad either; I like the red and green, but the white is a bit glaring on the eyes. I don’t know why people insist on having a lot of white on their flags, but Iran’s is also a simple design that works well.

And here’s another evil bogeyman flag, North Korea:

This design also works well, but of course there had to be a star in it to make it annoying. But, hey, it has red, white, and blue, so it’s got that going for it.

If I had to pick a winner and a runner-up, they would be the Gadsden flag for first place and the Russian flag for the runner-up. Both flags stand out compared to the other flags in this article.

But let’s put it to a vote and see what you guys think:

I recognize that there is zero chance that the American flag will ever be switched to the Gadsden flag, or to anything else, for that matter. It will go on in all its trashy, corporate glory until the country finally comes to an end and somebody else puts up a new flag. Or perhaps the country will break up into multiple countries, and there will be various flags flying over what used to be America.

I just hope future flag designers come up with something better. 🙄

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