The not-vaccines and survivor's guilt

The COVID shots didn't just injure those who took them; they also affected the people who refused to take them, and who now must bear witness to the consequences

As I noted in a previous article, a friend of mine recently passed away from leukemia, after taking the not-vaccines and a booster. Before taking the shots, he was a healthy, older man who walked miles around town frequently. There was nothing wrong with him, and yet now he is dead and buried in one of the local cemeteries.

His death got me thinking about the feelings of guilt I have had ever since the not-vaccines were pushed on so many people. Why do I feel a sense of guilt? Because there is a question I do not have a good answer for:

Did I push hard enough against the shots when I talked to people about them?

When the topic of the shots came up, shortly before they were unleashed on the public, I was torn between how I should talk about them. On one hand, I felt I should tell them no; do not take them. On the other hand, I didn’t want the guilt of their death on my conscience if they didn’t take them, got sick, and died.

So what I came up with was this: When the topic came up, I simply said that they had to make their own choice, but I would not take the shots under any circumstances because they contained mRNA and because they had not been tested or proven safe.

That was how I dealt with what was an awkward and, as I felt at the time, delicate social situation. Remember that back then, the media hype was at a fever pitch and mass psychosis was in full swing with the population. I thought then that the best way to handle it was to set an example and let people know why I wouldn’t take the shots.

Yet now I wonder: Should I have outright told people not to take them? Rather than simply saying what I wrote above? If I had been more definitive, if I had yelled at them, would they have listened and not taken them?

This runs through my mind not just because of my friend who died, but also because of another situation with a different friend. She and her family took the shots; every single one of them took them.

But before that happened, I talked to her on via video, and she told me to get the shot that was just one shot instead of two. I could tell that she was not paying attention to me, so I raised my voice and told her to stop whatever she was reading while we were talking and to focus on me.

Then I told her that I would not take the shots under any circumstances, and I warned her that her son and daughter should not take them because they were the biological future of her family.

Alas, both of those young adults took the shots. It was not very long after taking them that her daughter had a blood clot, and is now on blood thinners. She is married and is pregnant with her first child. While I visited them recently, she had to have a blood thinner shot administered. She must have one each day.

My friend said that it might have been birth control pills that caused the blood clot, but I believe it was the shots. Worse, I feel like it could have been avoided. I feel that I should have done something to stop her daughter from taking them. She is a sweet, kind, young lady, and I would destroy anybody who tried to hurt her, yet I feel that I did not fight hard enough to protect her.

I have prayed for the young lady’s unborn daughter, and will pray for her again. I do not know if the shots will affect her; I don’t think anybody knows for sure. But I have worried about that child’s safety and well-being, and I pray that Christ intervenes directly and insures a smooth birth, and a long and happy life for her.

So these are the things that have been running through my mind, and I wonder: do other people who didn’t take the shots feel any sense of survivor’s guilt? I use that term, though obviously not everybody who took them has died, and I pray that that doesn’t change in the years ahead.

But there is that nagging sense that things could have turned out better if I had been louder, more insistent, and perhaps even focused my anger on my friends when they talked about taking the shots. In other words, I wonder if I did enough, and I wonder what will happen in the future to the people who took the shots.

Will there be more deaths? Illnesses that could have been avoided? I don’t know; I just do not know. And that not knowing makes me worry, and it also fills me with rage. That rage manifested in a second curse being released after the death of my friend, and that one will target the people involved with creating and forcing the not-vaccines on the population of the world.

But no curse can undo the physical damage done by the COVID shots. I wish so much that things had turned out otherwise and that none of this had ever happened. I wish that people had listened and not taken the shots. I wish that more than anything now.

But it is too late, and I fear what the years ahead will bring.

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